Jay Chou, left, and Seth Rogen are shown in a scene from “The Green Hornet” (2011). (Photo credit: Columbia Pictures)
‘Green Hornet’ leaves you wondering, ‘Where have I seen this before?’
“There is no justice.” What started as Kato’s drunkenly slurred, mournful epiphany in the back of a pimped-out car quickly turned into a fitting epitaph for the long-awaited silver screen version of “The Green Hornet.” For all the jaw-dropping stop-and-start editing, witty one-liners and humorous male-bonding moments, “The Green Hornet’s” sum sadly is less than the whole of its parts.
Directed by Michel Gondry (“Be Kind Rewind” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”), “The Green Hornet’s” biggest flaw lies in its predictability (something Gondry is not known for). The movie opens with a young Britt Reid being sent to his newspaper publisher father (Tom Wilkinson) after getting in a fight at school. Here, his father berates him for being a failure who can’t look after himself, and that emotional scarring never abetted. (Daddy issues run rampant in the superhero genre, it seems.) Twenty years later, Britt (Seth Rogen, who co-wrote the screenplay) has become a carefree trust-fund man-child, all but useless to society and a total disgrace to his father.
Well, that all turns around when Britt discovers his father has died, leaving his newspaper empire for him to run. At first, Britt could not care less, but after meeting the engineering genius, martial arts master Kato (Jay Chou) — who also makes the perfect latte — Britt conjures up the notion that the pair can be a crime-fighting duo, using his father’s bullet-proof, flamethrower-ready cars. However, in order to prevent falling prey to the classic villain-threatens-innocents-so-you-must-surrender scenario, Britt reasons that if they act as criminals while actually being the good guys, they won’t be cornered into playing heroics. Kato agrees, and so begins the birth of the Green Hornet and his nameless sidekick. A cache of envy-inducing cars and destructive weapons (all created by Kato) aid the pair in their endeavors.
However, the plot itself is hard to imagine as being any type of plausible. Without giving too much away, the biggest scene involves trying to upload information from a flash drive to the Internet. And instead of tweeting or posting the incriminating details on Facebook from his phone, Britt and Kato travel across town in order to upload the data to his computer at the newspaper office.
Admittedly, it’s hard to yet again recreate a series that was on radio in the 1930s, film serials in the ’40s, television in the ’60s and comic books everywhere in between. In fact, this film version has been in flux since the ’90s, with actors and directions constantly changing. It’s not that the story’s protagonist lacks character; it’s that we’ve all seen this character before. Combine Batman, Iron Man, a spoiled 5-year-old and a green mask, and you get the Green Hornet. However, this may have less to do with Rogen’s performance and more with the inundation of superhero films as of late. While every once in a while a “Dark Knight” is released, it’s far more often for an “Iron Man 2” to supply our comic-turned-movie fix. There can be only so many types of heroes, and it seems the well is finally running dry.
And the 3-D didn’t help matters. (The Pendleton theater is only playing it in 2-D at the moment, but have you noticed that, while watching a 3-D movie in 2-D, it’s becoming easier to discern what’s meant to be 3-D? One can only hope that the motion sickness-inducing gimmick will return to theme parks and science fairs before long.) For someone with such an artistic eye, it’s a pity to see Gondry reduced to obvious tricks.
But it’s not all bad news. The budding bromance between Britt and Kato is something to see. Rogen and Chou have an infectious energy, and you just want them to become best friends. The banter is clever and organic, if sometimes juvenile and coarse. The chemistry goes a long way to making the movie palatable. And it’s slightly humorous to see how cocky Britt becomes, despite the fact that Kato is the one kicking butt and taking names. (Kato vision would be an awesome superpower.) And Cameron Diaz (who plays Lenore Case, the love interest) provides just enough sanity to balance out the vigilante-wannabes (if only slightly). The villains, however, leave much to be desired. Neither Christoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds”) nor David Harbour (“Quantum of Solace”) impressionable performances.
While attempting to pulverize some thugs, Britt, using his one-off catch phrase, shouts, “You’ve just been stung!” And by the time the credits start rolling (in slightly nauseating colors), you just may feel the same way. Let’s just hope you’re not allergic to bee stings.
Three out of five stars.
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