Kellan Lutz stars as the titular character in”The Legend of Hercules.” (Photo credit: Millennium Films)

‘The Legend of Hercules’ is sorely unnecessary

By the gods, this movie is terrible. Which wasn’t surprising, because nobody seeing “The Legend of Hercules” expected much else. By honestly, what were you expecting? If it were anything other than Kellan Lutz prancing around half-naked making some declarations of some type while winning the girl, you’re going to be severely disappointed. But if that’s what you were hoping for, you’re in for nearly two hours of it.

“The Legend of Hercules,” a 3-D rendition of the classical tale directed by Renny Harlin, will rightly be met with ridicule. Viewers at my showing actually booed at the end. Deservedly so, I would say, but not for the same reasons.

You see, I will admit this: “Hercules” delivers exactly what you think it will. Chockfull with actors still not quite well-known and not a particularly pretentious film, you’ll find it’s not as ridiculous as some of the summer blockbusters so commercially successful. No preview, no commercial ever said this was going to be the next epic of all time.

Another plus: the short runtime. This applies to its premise as an action movie (which should never be long epics) and to this particular movie, which really couldn’t end soon enough. Take it for what you will.

Lutz, of “Twilight” fame, stars as the titular character. From the beginning, he’s caught up in typical family drama. The mother, Alcmene (Roxanne McKee), dotes on him; the older brother, Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), can’t stand him; his “father,” King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), doesn’t trust him.

But we all know the story. Zeus, the Grecian god of gods, visited Queen Alcmene as a being of light and impregnates her with the demigod. Her description of the event? Let’s just say it involves the word “blasted.” The rest of the dialogue is less entertaining.

Hercules’ birth may have something to do with taking down his murderous king’s reign, but that’s neither here nor there. OH! We almost forget about the girl Hercules keeps slaying and roaring for: Hebe (Gaia Weiss), the Cretan princess in love with Hercules but betrothed to her brother.

The 3-D, for the most part, is almost unnoticeable. I mean that as in we quickly forget the movie is filmed as such unless a sword or dandelion fluff is coming at you. Only one of these is worth watching.

At the end of this rehashed tale, we’re left confused to the point and wondering why Hercules only shows demigod powers sporadically. Well, at least he get’s a lightning whip. Nothing else needs to be said.

One lightning whip star out of five.

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