‘300’ not-quite-sequel brings the gore back to Greece

How “300: Rise of an Empire” — a violent, scornful, fantastical presentation of the real-life Battle of Artemisium — managed to be such a hang-on-to-the-end-of-your-seat type of movie, bathed in deep-red blood and ever-shouted fraternal bonds, is beyond me. Let it be known, though, that I now feel like running down the street shouting “This is Greece!”

In essence, it’s chaos wrapped up in sex, battles and glory. Oh, and vengeance. Lots of soul-destroying, army-wrecking, war-causing vengeance. We’ll get back to that.

Building on the surprising success of the 2006 smash-hit “300,” which portrayed its own stylized and fictional version of the Battle of Thermopylae and the fall of King Leonidas and his contingent of warriors after being betrayed by Ephialtes of Trachis, “Rise of an Empire” tells the tale of the Artemisium battle, which happened simultaneously. But while “300” was the definition of a boys’ club, “Rise” centers around women — one in particular, Artemisia (Eva Green), a Greek who suffered immeasurably at the hands of her fellow countrymen. Her quest for revenge — bloody, violent, overwhelming revenge, the kind that destroys nations — is central to the major naval battle taking place around us.

In “Rise,” Greece is in danger, yet again, from Persia, which just can’t seem to learn its lesson (i.e. Battle of Marathon). With Greece having shown such insolence the last time it tried to invade, Persia has amassed a massive army and navy. We know what happens to Leonidas and his 300 men after watching the first movie, so know we watch and see what happens when the battle takes to the dark, churning seas.

Some major personality differences pop up right up right away. The rest of Greece, mainly Athenians, don’t have the same death wish, the same desire die a “beautiful death” as the Spartans. Less blood-thirsty, though equally ripped, this motley crew of tradesmen is led by Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton).

And while this group would at times rather negotiate with Persia than fight it, don’t you worry: Director Noam Murro (taking the helm from Zach Snyder, who co-wrote the screenplay) ensures gore-tastic battles, highly stylized and absolutely gorgeous, are par for the course. Blood sprays in impossibly wide arcs, vidid and dark as it spatters everyone near it. The men, clad in just the bare essentials, roar and stab and maim and so much more as they battle. But even with all the slow-motion evisceration and outright manliness, it’s Artemisia, draped in black and beautifully pale, who commands the screen.

She, we realize, is the éminence grise behind Xerxes (Rordrigo Santoro), the god-king from the first movie. Though devious machinations, she wields uncommon sway with the Persian king, and she uses it to sate her bloodlust.

Which she does with aplomb against the Greek naval force. The jarring collisions are epic and deeply satisfying, with the sounds of snapping wood and dying men screaming in the background. What’s more, the Greeks, playing what amounts to the good guys here, manage to how their own against a much larger force. For a bit, anyways. Themistokles uses his formidable war experience to rally the unexperienced, and a father-son pair helps connect us to the virtues of sacrifice, duty and honor.

Director Murro handles the style well, even if the writing is overly bland and the actors more or less directionless. To expect Oscar-worthy acting is a bridge too far, so be prepare for a lot of snippy quips and grunts.

In the end, “300: Rise of an Empire” will sate your desire for slow-motion carnage (if that’s your thing). Boil it down, though, and the movie loses its grandeur in return for a tale of a woman scorned. Take it for what you will, but all I know is that I never want to be on the wrong side of Artemisia’s blade.

Three gory stars out of five.

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Athenian Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) faces a formidable foe in “300: Rise of an Empire.” (Photo credit: Warner Bros.)