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Johnson the only flash of passion in ‘Fifty Shades’

The line between pleasure and pain can be mighty fine at times. One wrong move, one misinterpreted signal, and the balance is lost. It’s an art, a skill that takes time to hone and master. It can be uncomfortable, especially if you’re unfamiliar with it. But if you take a chance, sometimes you find the reward outweighs the risk.

When it comes to the much-anticipated film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” you won’t have to worry about any of that nuanced jazz, because all you get is the pain. Two hours of domestic abuse masquerading as sexual freedom; two hours of coercion and manipulation bathed in the false pretense of choice; two hours of cringe-worthy interactions, confrontations, sexual escapades and angst-ridden faces. But what pretty faces they are, even when one is constantly blindfolded, hidden or covered in tears.

For those of you not in the know (I’m jealous), the film is based on the immensely popular book of the same name by E.L. James. The first in a much-too-long trilogy, “Fifty Shades” introduces to our predestined (ill-fated?) couple: Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), an English lit major with a major lip-biting problem; and Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), the 27-year-old tech billionaire with a taste for extreme sex. The two first meet as Steel interviews Grey for her college paper. She, all thumbs and nerves, manages to enrapture the kinky playboy with a dark, mysterious, painful past, who proceeds to stalk her across the greater Seattle area in order to proposition her: He wants her to be his submissive (consensual sex slave, if you will). There’s contract negotiation and everything!

Click here to read the full review at TDN.com.

One un-sexy star out of five.

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Literature student
Anastasia Steele’s
(Dakota Johnson) life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). (Photo credit: Universal Pictures and Focus Features)