‘Kingsman’ a pulse-pounding extravaganza of carnage and chaos

Apparently, I need a bespoke suit. I’m not sure I’ll need it to be bulletproof, though. You see, I’m not trying to save the world from a maniacal billionaire bent on ushering in a new age for humanity. I guess if I were I’d probably want that extra protection. And lots of guns. Maybe even a spy gadget or two (or 50).

No worries: We get all that madness and more in Matthew Vaughn’s “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” an outrageously clever and fantastically bloody mash-up between “Kick-Ass” and your favorite James Bond movie. The cherry on top? Everyone looks absolutely dashing while saving the world! I mean, our heroes and villains wear top hots and carry full-sized umbrellas. What’s more classy than that?

Well, I guess I should preface this class act with saying that most everyone we run into dies a horrifically gory death. Exploding head-type graphics going on here, which isn’t surprising considering the director of “Kingsman” directed “Kick-Ass,” the blood-covered adventure of teenagers murdering their way to heroism. You’ve been warned.

“Kingsman: The Secret Service” goes all out in its creation of a secret organization that protects the world from nefarious ne’er-do-wells. At turns serious and irreverent, “Kingsman” brilliantly portrays a world where a immaculately tailored Colin Firth, as super-spy Harry Hart, can beat down a room of thugs AND enjoy a pint of Guinness. In this reality, the agents foiling assassinations or defusing bombs have no problem flashing testosterone and gentleman civility in equal, sometimes violent, measures. The whole film is purposefully excessive, but Vaughn clearly revels in this type of chaos. For the most part, I did, as well.

“Kingsman,” based on the graphic novel by Mark Millar, kicks off with a bang (and lots of murder): Agent Lancelot falls as he tries to save a kidnap victim. As per tradition, the remaining members have to submit a candidate to become the next Lancelot. (Side note: All Kingsman are named after the knights of the Round Table, with Arther (Michael Caine) as its head.) The recruits will train under Merlin (Mark Strong) under sometimes-lethal conditions. Most of the nominations reek of privilege and money. All but one: Eggsy (Taron Egerton), who Hart, known as Galahad, chooses. Eggsy, the rough-edged son of a former agent, defies all typical stereotypes regarding spyhood except those that matter. He’s crass and blunt, lacking in etiquette both social or gentleman-like, but he’s loyal to a fault and willing to commit.

As Eggsy and the others train to be the one who joins the secret society, a sinister plot begins to slowly emerge in the form of a billionaire tech giant, Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson), who has hatched a devastating plan to save the world from global warming. (Good intentions, right?)

As heavily noted, gory, outrageous violence takes center stage in “Kingsman.” The stylish action scenes are drowned in bright red by their end, and normally only one or two people are left standing. But, as with “Kick-Ass,” the wanton violence isn’t just for Vaughn’s sake (though I’m sure he enjoys it). It’s engagingly visceral, drawing your attention no matter what else is going on. One scene in particular, at a church in Kentucky, is a visual extravaganza of blood and death and style and Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird”, and it’s an absolute sight to behold. (Guillermo Grispo, a stunt artist, deserves a great deal of credit for his outstanding fight-scene choreography.)

Spy-inspired snark abounds: martinis stirred for 10 seconds, excellent (and shockingly expenseive) brandy and scotch, the merits of a good suit. Even the Kingsman’s headquarters runs through a high-end tailor shop on Savile Row in London.

Firth stands out as the dry-as-gin central figure, showing us how to be a lethal spy all while rockin’ a perfectly fitted bespoke suit. Egerton’s Eggsy is charming and likable right from the start, working hard to show us that now every hero needs to be born with a silver spoon. And Strong’s Merlin is engaging without stealing the attention away from our leads. (Most other characters are pretty forgettable, including fellow recruit/love-interest-but-not-quite Sophie Cookson and Valentine’s right-hand woman, Sofia Boutella, who runs around wreaking havoc with her deadly sharp prosthetic legs.)

In the end, “Kingsman: The Secret Service” is a chaotic, bloody mash-up of humility and excess. The Kingsman do what they do without any recognition — nor do they seek such validation. But the methods used to save the world is out of control, generally lethal and exaggerated. But Vaughn, with a surprisingly talented directorial touch, manages to make these two essentially disparate lines of thought coexist in quite the entertaining fashion. I can say this much: This film is not for gentlemen, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And please, for goodness’ sake, always let a man finish his drink.

Four “Of course he’s going to save the world” stars out of five.

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Harry (Colin Firth), an impeccably suave spy, helps Eggsy (Taron Egerton) turn his life around by trying out for a position with Kingsman, a top-secret independent intelligence organization. (Photo credit: 20th Century Fox/TNS)